| IMMMMMM FKINNNNN C0000000LLL BROOOOO =] |
[02 Sep 2007|01:05am] |
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mood |
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fuckedd up |
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music |
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lloyd banks - hood hop |
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iteeeeee so bascially im guna writee about JARED since he wrte about mee in his live journal .. okay sooo basicalllyyy i havent really gotten to knowww jared on a reallyyy personal level although i kissed him when he was extremely drunk but hes def not like any offffffff my other guys frendssss meaning hes no burnouttttt ghettooo /or guidooo littlee fuck headdd. hes actaulyyy normall besidesss hiss crazynesssss =] whichh i adoreee butttttttt we are completely oppositeee and i love that and hess really fukin sweet becuz honestly the first nite i met him it seeemed like we knew eachtoherrr forrr likee a million years. anddddd heee seeems likeee a really awesome personn who i cannnn talk to about anything with becuz nowadayss theres no one whoo has ur backkkkkk =/ buttt yeahhh idkk wut he thinks about me to be honest cuz mostt ppll think im a bitchhh wen they first meeet meee andddd stuff but im really nottt . i likee jaredd cuzzzz hesss always himselfffff andddd he prettyyy muchhhhhhh is the best too be aroundd .. i like his hugsssss cuz unlike every otherr guyyyyyyy immm withhh heeeee likeeeee doesnttt just want a peice off assssss lmaoo ! tooo beee honesttttttttttttt hesss just plainn outt theee shittttttttttttttttt ... not too bragg or nethingg butt ihear hess really smartt tooo =] haaa oo yeahhh anddd i wanna chyll with him more and get too know himmm . moreee haa .. i dont think its a good ideaa for us too drink togehter tho although we drunk dial eachother. and tell eachotehrr we like eachother which is koool cuzz im drunk so atleast he knows im not lieingg. . cuz they sayyy wen ur drunk u alwayst ell the turth .. anywayssssss im outskiiii peaceeeeeeee nigggaaa
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01s bOoTs ArE mAdE fOr WaLkIn- & tHaTs JuSt WhAt tHeYlL dO
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| wowwwwwww gayyyyyyyyyyyyy much ? |
[02 Sep 2007|12:35am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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2 live crew - me so hornyyy =] ! |
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yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr holy shit i never write in this damnnn thinggggg um, basicallylyyyyy a little updateeee ... im a retardddddddddd i cantt passs schoooollllll so basciallyy im never gettting intoo myy artt collegee but wutevsss .. imm gunna workk hard juniorrr yearrrr =] ... sooo this summer prettyyy much sucked it all started with the car accident which realyl fucked with my headdd =[ now my moms getting me therapy along with my other emotinalll issuessssssss . wut elseee ummmm summer skool which was the best part of my summmmerrrrrrr hhaaaa ... yeahhhh it suckss cuzz everyoness spreadingggggggggg apartt all of our boyss are likeee being retarded burnoutssssssssssssssssssss and its annoyinggggggg anddd i knowwww thatttt i haventtt beeeeenn sober alot of the timeee but stillllllllllllll !! yeah bobbbyyy totallly fuckeed with my headddd .. lets just say everythignn i told myself i wouldnt doo i lieddddd and like now hes tryin to get me back but w.eee .. dannty and i aree ehhhh on and off as along with joeee andd omggggggggggggggg i got wasted the other night and did a bunch of shit im gunna completely regertt but uknow wuttt its a lessonnn learned for next timeee .. and im disapoointed cuz i ttold myself i wuld never regret anything but i lieddd buttt its okayyyyyyyyyy .... honestlyyy everything isss fuckin retarded nowadya everyoness changing including myselffff =/ my papa moved in with us for the summer andd idkk im not mad butt im must upsetttt cuz hes moving to floridaa andd i wasnt able to b with him for 2 years of my lifeee well basically 3 becuz he wass put awayyy but stil like now hes moving to floridaa and its gunna feel the same way itt did wenn he was lockeddddd forrrr a couple yearr idkk .. i love him hes the only one that sticks up for me inn myy fukin crazy housee .. butttt idk like i sed everyones changing even mee idk wuts wrong with meee like my mom thinks i amm crazyy like i beat the shit outta julia and idkk whyyyy .. andd likeee she syas she thinks i got anger issues fro the accident but reallyy im nto angryyy only with myselfff butt anywayss ill write more inn a litttleeee bittt cuzz i wannnaaa readd jaredss live journall hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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& tHaTs JuSt WhAt tHeYlL dO
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| ugh |
[26 Dec 2006|04:32am] |
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arte soo yeahh thiss is realy weird hat im having these feelling about htis certain someone anddd i cant even beleiveeeee wtfffff amm i doinng .. mike torressss .. ughh arite welll idk ive been trhinkin gabout him alotttttttttt lately and idkk why ive been getting htese weird feeling and hes tootaly the worst kid everrrr hes a burnoput his personality suxx ad hes an asshole .. yesi k noe .. and likee weve hookedu p so manyy times and wen he was on the trainnn e keeppss bringing up the nite at ficoss and stuff anddd i keeeppp getting myy feeling sback but i hateeee we i do cuz everytime i hook up with mhimmm we stop tlaking after .. i wiash we culdd have a real relationship without everyone up our asses but i dont hink that wil wor k. .. like ever .. andd yeahh idk its been really weirdd .. i cant take it nemoree idk wutt too doo .. idk but i needed to ge that off my chest ..
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& tHaTs JuSt WhAt tHeYlL dO
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| grness |
[23 Nov 2006|01:19am] |
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mood |
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 headache |
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give me tonight= shannon |
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okay soo basiacllyy im writngi in this thing again but yheahh life is going pretty shitty rite about now . i wonder if it will get better .. hopefully but for now its just shitty. me and joe F have been tlking like alot lately although he didnt call me to nite which kinda upset me cuzz i forget about eveyrhng wen im talkngto him hes like the best .. i cna jsut laugh and laugh and luagh wen im with him or talking to him .. likee weni was with him and we were hooking up like he just made me feel so good .. and wen we talk on the fonee he says i love u all the timee adn i kinnd like it .. but i dotn thinks it love atleast not yet im too young for love i dotn wanna get serious with neone thats probly the worst thing for me at this moment .. i dont want it to interfere iwht my grades or nething
but i really like him otherwise and lets just sayy im waitnggg i dotn care how longit takes me but im waiting .. i dont wanna get hurt .. im too scared. butt lets get on the louis subjecdt .. i fuking hae him he pisses me off liek he pissedme off in bronxvilel wen he was ll over sasoo then he pissed mee offf wen he fuken doesnt asnswerrr fone calls i/mss or fuking comments that just gets me soo heated adn like the fact that i still like him is ridicoulosuss nd he goes out with kelsey now .. likee ughh i the fact that im gettign hhurt lef tand right wutever . ill write tlater
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& tHaTs JuSt WhAt tHeYlL dO
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| life and death |
[09 Nov 2006|08:06pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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so sick- flyleaf |
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Well today is 11/9/06 and my aunt susan passed away and im like extremely depressed .. ive never felt this way before .. im almost like shocked because its weird to think that someone u were with so many times and actually made contact with and talked to could be gone .. and its like wen u need them there u cant tlak 2 them knowingn that their not gunna giv eu an answer .. words cant describe the pain im goping thruu .. death sucks .. and im praying that i wont ever hafot expericancee this feellingg from death until im and old crrinkly woman .. i knew something was wrong when my mom rushed to the hostpital last nite and then this morning is when it happend .. and i knew this was kinda the end for her .. i wonder if she was scared .. probly not .. my aunt susan is a strong woman .. i love her .. i dont think ive ever known someone with as much spirit as she had .. even though she had cancer and M.S she still had the sparkk of a firework .. the last time i sed goodbye too her she was getting back from the healling mass and i was thinking god this woman is amazing .. the day she came to my house over the summer and i tried on my skool uniform for her and my new bookbag and was being silly .. we looked at old photo albums she was telling me how she was bad at spanish just like me we ate doritos together .. then we had pizza it was the best .. and even tho she was sick .. we had the best time i spent hte whoel day with er laying downnn and having fun .. i cant forget about hellping her up the stairs that made me feel like such a good person , and i hope that wherever she is rite now she is watchign me write this and i hope she knows how much i loved her and how much i looked up for her i feel like i didnt say goodbye hte rite way. i shuldve gone to see her in the hospital all those times my mo asked me .. andd o god my mom .. the strength she has to be not crying and sticking it out like a champ , i have respect for my mother to i mean her bestfrend since 4 years old past away and she still is keeping if all together i can see it in her eyes that shes hurt i would be too i am just idk i dont have ne words i feel kind of empty .. is it a sin that i didnt fel this way with pop pop or nanny ? i dont think so i meann my aunt susan was the only person who truly understood mee and she knew exactly what i meant even if i sed it in a language that i made up .. she listened anad mayb im crazy because we mayb hadnt of had that many conversations but her presence just mademe feel so good .. and i think that itll take me a while to recover .. but i hafto thinkof how my mom feels .god i feel just so omg i dont even knoee i cant even describe it i feell almost disgusting andd i dunt even know wthat to typee anymore because i ammm feelings oso many emotions rite now im just confused and i prayed for her everyday in relgion but mayb they didnt help . im relaly gunna miss her and it just feellss weird that shes gone i feel incomplete. its weird that im writing about a woman who i really didnt get to know all that well . or atleast until the end but i think im just gunna go upstairs now ill bee back ttyl <3
heres a qoute i found and its for everyone in heaven
“Missing someone gets easier everyday. Because, even though it is one day further from the last time you saw each other, it is one day closer to the next time you will” rip aunt susan i love you
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01s bOoTs ArE mAdE fOr WaLkIn- & tHaTs JuSt WhAt tHeYlL dO
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